Am I still free if I obey a call from Christ?

“While passing by” (Mark 1:16 & 2:14), Jesus noticed his first disciples and called them. In this “passing by” there is a breath of freedom. Jesus had no fixed strategy; he saw his future disciples and called them. He said very little to them about his expectations for them, very little also about what they could expect from him. They would discover it little by little. Jesus wanted them to be just as free as he was. Or rather; free in the same way as he was.

“You, follow me!” are the last words of Christ in the gospels (John 21:22). Risen from the dead, he continues to invite people to follow him. He is always “passing by.” I do not choose the moment. One day, some words of the Gospel touch me. An encounter or an event turns my life upside down and leads me to make a commitment with him. A call is first and foremost something that happens to me.

Where then is my freedom, since I am not the one who chose to encounter Christ but rather he found me? Furthermore, when I am asked why I have made such a commitment, it is hard for me to reply since, as for the disciples, things seem to have happened partly by chance. “Passing by, Jesus saw…” and Levi, without hesitating for a second, “got up and followed him” (Mark 2:14). Is not this action a bit too quick to be a conscious, responsible and free choice? What is sure is that Levi, by getting up, became free. Until then, he had disposed freely of himself and his tax-collector’s table. From that moment on, his horizons became wider.
Although Christ’s call came to Levi as something evident, it did not violate his freedom.

For where Christ is, the Holy Spirit is there as well. Christ’s call corresponds to something in the depths of my heart. It comes to me both from without – from words I have heard or read, an event or an encounter – and from within. It liberates more than it commands. At the same time as Christ calls me, the Holy Spirit unbinds in me what was captive, releases what was cramped and anguished. Jesus did not determine his disciples’ behavior in advance. He was fond of asking them questions: “Who am I for you?” (Mark 8:29); “Do you want to leave, too?” (John 6:67); “Do you love me?” (John 21:15-17). Our liberty and our creative involvement are important to him. It is only my response that makes his call certain for me. My own footsteps trace out my path as a follower of his. “In calling you, God does not dictate what you have to do. His call is first and foremost a personal encounter.” (Letter to those who want to follow Christ).

Do we have the right to be happy when others are suffering?

God’s breath in us is profound joy. When we are happy, we are in harmony with God. But when others suffer, our happiness is not in harmony with their suffering. That is why the apostle Paul writes, yes, “rejoice with those who are joyful” but also “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Joy is certainly what we are made for. But when confronted with the suffering of others, it is by weeping that we are in the truth.
Happiness can wound those who are excluded from it. The satisfaction of someone who has succeeded hurts those who have failed. The rejoicing of lovers is hard to take for those who have been deserted. When, in addition, those who are happy let me feel their malicious pleasure in having taken my place, their happiness becomes downright unbearable. Someone’s happiness can hurt us even if they do not do so intentionally: Jesus in a parable speaks of the happiness of a rich man “joyously living in splendor” without even noticing the poor man Lazarus at his gate (Luke 16: 19-21).

It is better to weep than to have such happiness. But how can Paul write, “Always be joyful” (Philippians 4:5)? If there are forms of happiness that wound others, there are also forms of sadness that hurt. When I am sad and depressed, I do not want my friends to burden me with their own sadness, adding their gloom to my misfortune. What should we do, then, when others suffer? Remain joyful, and run the risk of wounding with our happiness those who are left out? Or be sad, and run the risk of adding to their unhappiness, which is already hard enough to bear?

“Always be joyful.” Paul continues, “Let your affability be known to all” (Philippians 4:5). The joy he is speaking about radiates kindness and gentleness. It is first and foremost an inward joy. Sometimes it is almost imperceptible and no outward sign gives it away. It has a delicate touch. Just as, in the cold of winter, it feels good to stay close to a radiant source of heat, it is good, in misfortune, to be close to someone whose deep-seated joy radiates kindness.

What is the secret of a happiness that does not offend but lifts up those who are suffering? It lies in being a poor man’s joy, a happiness not possessed but shared from the outset.

Refusing to be happy when others are suffering could lead to mutual despair. We have better to do for those who are undergoing misfortune. One of the most precious things we can offer is our hidden struggle to keep alive the joy of the Holy Spirit, the joy that radiates kindness and communicates strength and courage.

Using Positive Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence Positive

Affirmations are carefully-worded positive statements that you repeat to yourself and are designed to establish new thinking patterns in your mind. Using affirmations is a very effective way to build self-confidence. It seems simple and initially it can actually be a little uncomfortable but remember, what you're trying to do is to wear a new groove in your brain. You're trying to create a new path of least resistance and establish a positive reflex in your mind. And the best way to create a new reflex is through repetition of positive thoughts, images and feelings.

Below, I've included a small handful of powerful affirmations for you to begin using today. The way to use affirmations is to repeat the statements to yourself (out loud or silently). When you repeat an affirmation, feel it, believe it, and know it! Put some positive emotion into it. Emotion-backed programming is the most powerful and long lasting. Allow yourself to experience the feelings of joy, satisfaction, power and self-confidence as you do each affirmation. Make each one a true part of your reality.
Use your favorite affirmations routinely throughout the day, and really feel them. When you do you will eventually make a quantum leap. You will suddenly be far beyond the doubts that accompany wishing, hoping, daydreaming, and even believing. You will enter the zone of knowing.
When you enter the zone of knowing, supreme self-confidence is automatically there. All doubt is gone. You know you can do it. You know it will happen, just as surely as if it had already happened. And quite likely at some dimension it has happened for you! When you enter the zone of knowing, your self-confidence is unshakable and your untapped potential is released. You feel invincible!

Another great way to use affirmations is to say them while looking in a mirror. Say them with feeling and soon you'll become aware of how powerful your eyes are. It's said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that each of us carries in our eyes the exact indication of our rank. We send messages with our eyes that show how we think of ourselves and how self-confident we are. And that influences how others respond to us. The more our eyes bespeak self-confidence and self-esteem, the more other people are likely to hold us in high esteem. Some people have developed a penetrating gaze that makes it seem as if they can look into your very soul. As you practice your affirmations in the mirror, you'll see this in your own eyes and soon others will feel the confidence that you project.

Sample Affirmations:

• I now free myself from false limits
• I choose to be self-confident
• I now feel self-confident
• I radiate self-confidence
• I reject negativity at all levels of consciousness
• I love turning negatives into positives
• The more positive I am, the more confident I am
• I now think as a positive person
• I breath as a positive person
• I feel positive and confident
• I am intelligent
• I am capable
• I speak with self-confidence
• My body language projects self-confidence
• People sense my self-confidence, which gives them confidence in me
• I am positive and confident
• I'm becoming aware of my true potential
• I enjoy being positive
• Being positive builds my self-confidence
• I feel positive and confident
• I am positive and confident

Start Today
There are many other powerful techniques that you can use to improve your self-confidence and build your self-esteem. But this will get you started in the right direction. The most important thing to remember is that repetition and positive emotions are critical to changing the way you think. While it's possible to do this on your own, most people need a defined program for the direction and support they need to commit to a change.

Many people find that listening to audio programs is the best way to provide the consistency that's needed to develop new, healthy, positive thought habits. In addition to Positive Affirmations, the best audio programs will incorporate a variety of techniques including guided visualizations, mental imagery, goal-oriented meditation, subliminal programming, whole-brain learning, and more.

So, employ whatever resources you need to commit to improving your self-confidence. Whether it's an audio program or help from your friends, family or therapist your self-confidence is too important to allow it to wither away. Be confident that you can improve your confidence and it will change your life.

Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection can lead to a vicious cycle of rejection.

The fear of rejection may have haunted each one of us at one time or another, It may be caused by our fear of being and living alone, too much dependence on other people's perception of us, lack of confidence and inability to control our own life.

Fear of rejection is a state of mind that makes a person feel inadequate, helpless and worthless. It inhibits a person from doing or saying things because of the fear that other people might not accept him or disapprove of his actions and words.

A person who is so concerned about what others may think of him could make his own life miserable because he can no longer speak his own mind nor do things that he would normally do on his own. The fear of rejection can paralyze a person and discourage him from being productive.

A person's uniqueness disappears the moment he puts primary emphasis on what others want him to be. A person too caught up with pleasing others will start to emulate other people from the way they dress and the way they behave in society.

This usually happens to young people who crave attention and acceptance but do not yet have enough basis for self acceptance. This is detrimental to a person's growth because there is no more room for self expression, only of self denial and the thought of pleasing others.

A person who fears being rejected can be characterized as: 

1. A person who acts without confidence - A person who is not sure of himself will tend to imitate others and keep himself from trying new things. Such lack of confidence will ultimately make such person unhappy and bitter.

2. Keeps opinion to himself - A person who is not vocal about his perception of things may be having trouble with rejection. He may keep from voicing out his opinion for fear of being criticized.

3. Usually depressed - A person who does not have the freedom to speak for himself and to express his wants will soon become depressed and will no longer have a love for life. He will tend to act like a remote-control robot that can not make his own decisions.

4. Confused about his true identity - A person who has fears of being rejected will end up confused about who he really is. This will lead to an identity crisis and will make him angry at himself and at other people for no reason at all.

5. Lack of self esteem and self worth - A person who gives more importance to what others may think of him does not have much faith in himself to start with. This lack of self esteem may have resulted from feelings of rejection instilled in him by his family or friends.

A person who fears rejection will ultimately be rejected by the people he wants to please and who love him dearly. A person who has the tendency to please other people will soon get sucked into a difficult cycle of rejection. By Helene Malmsio